The last thing Christian parents want is to see their children become little legalists or resistant to the Gospel. How we parent, how we raise, train, and discipline our children may be pointing them in one of those two dreadful destinations.
First, the Christian parent has to become aware that discipline is not an option. Our culture decries punitive discipline as abuse and out-dated. No doubt, there are plenty of examples of how not to discipline, but poor parenting is not a reason to not discipline at all. Society may call discipline unloving, but the Bible teaches that to not discipline is in fact unloving (Prov 13:24). Not every act of rebellion or disobedience should be met with corporal punishment, but neither should the home be void of loving, corrective corporal punishment.
That being said, most Christian parents are familiar with how to mete out discipline in a loving manner. Whether spanking, a firm talk, or time-out, discipline should not be done out of anger. Parents need to take the time to explain to the child why he is being punished. That’s great advice that should be followed, but we can’t stop our corrective parenting there.
If all we do is communicate the wrong done that justifies the punishment, we are only drawing moral lines, lines of sin and consequence. That’s a good thing, but not if that’s as far as we go. If the child only learns that a set of rules exists in the Bible and if you cross them, you get punished, he won’t likely embrace the Author! More than likely, if all he knows is that if I get caught, I get in trouble, he will either grow up a legalist or abandon the faith altogether as soon as he gets out of the home.
As Christian parents, we must practice redemptive discipline, Gospel-centered discipline. In other words, you not only explain to a child they are receiving punishment because he has done wrong, you explain to your child why he has done wrong. Explain sin. Explain that sin carries consequences. Explain that you, the parent, are a sinner too. Explain that God loves them and they need salvation. Explain that God has sent us a Savior to die for our sin, and if we trust in Christ, we can be forgiven. Explain that you love them and are helping them learn about sin, consequences, forgiveness, and salvation.
Redemptive discipline seeks to get behind the wrong done to the reason the wrong was done and the only hope we have to save us from our deepest problem, sin.
Parents, if we love our children, we will discipline them. If we desire to see them embrace Christ, we will strive to discipline in a redemptive, Gospel-centered manner. May we point our children to Christ and their need of Him!
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