I'm Just Not a Cool Pastor

I have a confession to make. I’m never gonna make it as a “cool” pastor in regard to what seems to be “cool” in today’s culture. There are several reasons why. First, I simply can’t wear skinny jeans. Honestly, seriously, I cannot wear skinny jeans! It’s an entirely undoable task for me. It seems to require too much effort to put them on and looks incredibly uncomfortable having them on. Second, I’m not going to shop for my shirts in the women’s department. Call me fundamentalist, old-fashioned, dinosaur, or whatever you want to call me. I just believe pastors should not capitulate to our current cultural trends of blurring gender lines. Third, I’ll never have a $300 salon-groomed hairstyle. Even though my church provides me with a gracious salary, I still cut my own hair with Wal-mart clippers. I know, it doesn’t look great, but it’s free.

As far as “coolness” goes though, I’m glad that it doesn’t bother me that I’m lacking on the “coolness” chart. It’s not my goal. It’s nowhere on my radar. Frankly, I’m delighted that is the case for a number of reasons.

If I were striving to be cool, achieving “coolness” would cost me far more than I am willing to spend. It’s costly monetarily to keep up with trendy wear. Even if it’s easily affordable, money spent to keep me “cool” could be spent in ways of far greater eternal value.

If I were striving to be cool, I fear my world would begin to revolve around me instead of having the proper priorities of God, family, others, and then me.

If I were striving to be cool, I fear I would begin to believe that in terms of my communication as a pastor, relevance would be centered on my appearance rather than exposition of and reliance upon God’s Word.

If I were striving to be cool, I fear that I would become my own idol, seeking the appreciation of others toward my “coolness” rather than viewing myself as a servant of the Word, a feeder of the flock, who delights in watching people grow in the faith, not in the growth of my own little fan base.

If I were striving to be cool, I fear that the effort put forth to make sure that I am constantly “hip” would interfere to a large degree with what should be my aim, namely, to pursue “holiness.”

Can a pastor be “cool” and holy? Maybe. Can one be trendy in clothes, appearance, lingo and still remain in serious pursuit of godliness? I’m not saying it is impossible, but it is surely very difficult to strike the right balance of pursuing godliness internally when everything externally is so absorbed in culture. So can it be done? Again, possibly. But you are probably going to wear yourself out if your aim in life is to be both.

The question comes down to this: what matters the most in terms of eternal value, lasting impact upon God’s people, and satisfying joy for your own soul? Being hip? Or being holy? Jesus calls us to the latter, not the former (Matt 5:48). The Bible calls us to the latter, not the former (Heb 12:14). And when life crumbles, when life is coming to an end, when life hangs on the cliff of eternity, our people will hunger for the latter, not the former. Be holy, dear pastor. “Coolness” never lasts.   

Waiting.......and NOT Expecting.

In a recent post, I spoke of how my wife and I had been waiting for some time to have another child, and that now, we are expecting. I shared how the time of waiting and the joy of realizing God had blessed our home in this way again demonstrated once again the sovereignty and goodness of God. My purpose in this blog is to address how believers can respond when we wait and wait and are not expecting. 

I know of couples who deeply desire children and are unable to have them. I also know of couples who waited for years and when all seemed hopeless, even after heartbreaking miscarriages, God gave them children. Either way, the inability to have children when the desire is present to do so can be a difficult strain on marriage, a trying test of faith, and paralyzing when facing other issues in life. There are real questions that couples face in these circumstances. I’d like to offer some hopeful counsel to couples in this situation by listing a few possible questions and answers that may arise. I wholeheartedly believe and trust that if we bring Scripture to bear on our concerns, we can find comfort and contentment. So here are a few Q and As.

Why do we have the desire for children if we are not going to be able to have a baby? The desire for children is a God-given, good desire. God created us to participate with Him in creation, to procreate. Having the desire for children, then, is a godly desire. Although we have godly desires, that does not necessitate their fulfillment. God is pleased when we desire His blessing of children but we must also know that God is all-wise. If He is withholding children from us, we must pray for the faith to believe and trust that He is working all things for our good. We must also guard against becoming enslaved to this desire to the point of being completely unsatisfied and unfulfilled unless we have a child. God’s gifts, whether given or withheld, are meant to lift our eyes to Him in praise not to turn our hearts away from Him in unbelief.

Is it wrong to keep praying for a baby or having the desire for one when the answer seems to be “no”? I believe this comes down to the issue of contentment in Christ. So the answer is “yes” and “no.” It would be wrong to pray for a child and desire a child if becoming pregnant has captured your life and totally taken your focus away from Christ. If you refuse to be content with the many hundreds of other ways God daily blesses you, if you find yourself upset or angry with God for refusing your request, if you cannot rejoice with others who are blessed with children, if you feel as though life is void and empty unless you have a child of your own, it is time to get alone with God. When you reach this point in life, having a child is not the answer and will not solve anything. The answer is to return to the Fountain of Life. Return to Christ, and first find Him as He is, namely, all-satisfying. Learn, as Paul, to be content in all things. Seek Christ first. Then, you can rightly prioritize your desires instead of being controlled or enslaved by them.

However, if you are leaning upon Christ and rejoicing in His abundant graces toward you, then “no.” Praying and desiring to have a child is not wrong if you are able to trust, accept, believe, and live with God’s answer.

What is God doing? Why doesn’t He give us a child? Of course no one can definitively answer this question. The “why” to God’s answers often remain hidden. For example, why does God allow others to become pregnant? We don’t know the “why” there either. We only know that He does. On the other hand, there are some very real possibilities for couples to seriously pray over and discuss. (1) Maybe God would have you adopt a parentless child. Adoption is one of the more vivid, living demonstrations of salvation, and there are many children who need godly, loving homes. I would suggest to any Christian family that if they are unable to have children and yet deeply desire to raise children, adoption is the likely answer. But there are more answers to consider. (2) Maybe God is calling you to some form of ministry that requires your full attention, extensive travel, unusual hours, etc. (Matt 19:11-12) Maybe your ministry is helping others who are childless to continue in faith and joy in the Lord. Maybe God has a unique role for you to fulfill in His Kingdom work. (3) Maybe (assuredly) this is a time of teaching for you. A time for God to stretch your faith. A time for God to call you to return to your first love. A time to learn to trust, love, and be content in the Giver of all blessings. (4) If you are sure that #2 is not where God is directing and you have given sufficient prayer and consideration to #4, then I would return to #1! Adopting a child does not mean it is any less yours just as our adoption in Christ does not mean we are in any degree less than a child of God!

What about the desire to have a child, but “no” comes in the form of health issues or from one’s spouse? I believe this falls under the “two learning to become one” category of marriage. Whether health related or disagreement for one reason or the other from a spouse, this calls for couples to have open, honest, prayerful dialogue. Maybe one says, “I don’t care about the health risks.” Maybe one spouse says, “I don’t think we can afford another child.” Whatever the issue may be, the husband must take seriously the wife’s feelings, and the wife must seriously consider the husband’s concerns. There are no quick resolutions here. I would counsel couples to pray over the matter separately, pray over the matter together, schedule times where they can share with one another their feelings, concerns, understanding of God’s will, etc. Continue in patient, loving prayer and discussion until both partners can be a rest with a decision. Don’t put it off. Don’t make demands and ultimatums. Don’t “plan” a “surprise” pregnancy. All of those solutions are recipes for disaster. Reach a conclusion together in prayer and trust that God has led you both to it.

Finally, for all who are struggling with this issue, you can know with all confidence, God is not finished even when we think He is! Lean upon Him. Love one another. God will either grant a child or He will withhold children. Either way, God will do what is best for us and for His glory! He is Sovereign. He is good. He is blessing and gracing us abundantly every day. If you are in Christ, He is 100% for you!  

Book Review: Rethink

Rethink: Decide for Yourself is Student Ministry Working? By Steve Wright with Chris Graves. Wake Forest: Inquest, 2008.

The problem: Statistics and testimonies across the board all agree, too many students leave the church for good when they leave our student ministries. The answer is not to dig in our heels, work harder, provide more programming, be more relevant, more hip, and more entertaining. Those are simply more of the same that will produce more of the same.

Steve Wright directs student ministry to Scripture for the true, lasting answer. Parents are called to be the primary disciplers of their children. The church is called to equip and encourage parents in this high calling. That is the biblical model, and he provides many passages to support his position.

There are many challenges to face. Parents will feel ill equipped and have become comfortable with handing over spiritual matters to the church. Students must become accustomed to relating to parents about more than their wants and their sports. Churches must adjust to what student ministry should be about, ministry to families not numbers and fun. These are not insurmountable though. Through patient teaching, training, parental involvement, resources, and examples, student ministry can be transformed into a partnership between parents and the church.

Apart from the biblical mandate for parents to teach their children, this model makes the most sense for the future spiritual well-being of the student. Who will be with there when students graduate from college? enter into a vocation? get married? have children? encounter life’s challenges? It won’t be the student minister. It will be the parents. It only makes sense for student ministry to focus on putting parents and students together because student ministry is a four-year calling. Parenting is for life!

Wright strikes a great balance between the traditional forms of student ministry and the pendulum swing to a families-only model. Yes, our churches should be far more family integrated. However, that does not necessarily mean children and student ministries have no place. Rather, if approached as partnering with families, strengthening families, and reinforcing parental guidance, these ministries can be valuable assets.

Rethink has many strengths. The basic premise is balanced and biblical. Wright provides examples of how he has initiated and implemented this model in his ministry and church. He also provides several testimonies of how parents have embraced this model and have experienced the positive results in their children. All of the suggestions and examples are very helpful and practical.

The only weaknesses are a bit of repetition and maybe a few too many quotes and statistics. These are hardly worth mentioning though because the purpose of calling and equipping parents is such a worthwhile goal.

I would hardily recommend this book to pastors, student ministers, and parents. Let’s get families worshipping together, praying together, and studying Scripture together at home! If so, families will be strengthened, the church will be healthier, and when students grow up, they won’t leave the church!

Book Review: John MacArthur

John MacArthur: Servant of the Word and Flock. By Iain Murray. Carlisle: Banner of Truth, 2011.

I thoroughly enjoyed this biography. As a Teaching Pastor, it was extremely encouraging to me because it reinforced a conviction that I hold to with a firm grip. At times, looking out over the landscape of evangelicalism, it appears as if this conviction is in the minority or even called into question. What is this conviction? True ministry is built upon the faithful proclamation and application of God’s Word!

How refreshing to read of MacArthur’s ministry and find that same conviction endorsed and faithfully embraced over the years. For that reason, and many more, MacArthur is a living hero of the faith. It’s not about him. It’s about faithfully standing on the Word and relying on the Word to accomplish the work.

The story of Grace Church, Grace to You, and the Master’s College and Seminary really is a miracle story. It’s amazing and thrilling to see the worldwide audience and impact that has been realized through sound biblical exposition.

My favorite portion of this work was when we are given a glimpse inside MacArthur’s study. While preparing messages preaching through the Gospel of Matthew, he wrote this to a friend:

There are many days when I can hardly stand what I am discovering. It just overwhelms me. In every paragraph there is this incomparable Jesus Christ and He is just devastatingly powerful and glorious. It is a crushing experience to be exposed to Him, and yet it is the most exalting thing—to realize He has embraced me for all eternity! I would rather preach Christ than anything else. He is the most compelling subject in all the universe. (p. 62)

This is the lesson from MacArthur’s life and ministry, a man thoroughly overwhelmed with the beauty and glory of Christ and therefore committed to exalting Him through sound biblical preaching! As pastors, we will not all have such extensive ministries. In fact, the majority of us will have ministries that will never be widely known. However, if we run after BIG, we will miss the most IMPORTANT. Let us run after Christ. In our lives, our study, and our preaching, let it be known by our congregants that Christ is all sufficient! The scope and expanse is God’s business. Faithfulness to His Word is our calling.

At times it seems that some of the young, restless, and reformed grow impatient and dismissive of MacArthur, especially if he directs a word to them (us). I appeal to my brothers in ministry, learn to listen without feeling the compulsion to quickly reply. I don’t agree with everything MacArthur says and does, but he is a stable, mature, wise, and proven voice. There is far more for us to learn from him and appreciate of him than there are points of disagreement to argue over. He has walked in the Word, in the local church, and in ministry long enough, with steady faithfulness, that if he feels compelled to say it, we should feel compelled to listen, even if we don’t like it or agree with it.

I readily recommend this book to every pastor. It will not only encourage you as a minister, but it will remind you of the main calling, priority, and focus of your life: the Word of God.

Book Review: The Church and the Surprising Offense of God's Love

The Church and the Surprising Offense of God’s Love: Reintroducing the Doctrines of Church Membership and Discipline. By Jonathan Leeman. Wheaton: Crossway, 2010.

Recently, I began to search out books on church membership because the elders at CEFC were discussing the issue. If you have ever conducted a similar search, you probably discovered, just like me, that there are not many books in the evangelical world that provide a thorough, comprehensive treatment on the subject. For that reason alone, Leeman’s book is a valuable contribution.

Leeman spends a great deal of material in the opening chapters to demonstrate how our culture’s misunderstanding of authority, submission, love, and the benefit of institutions have become an influential factor within our churches. As a result, biblical practices such as membership and discipline have been downplayed or jettisoned altogether. You simply can’t expect people to “join” a church in our day. You simply can’t discipline a person in our day. Those actions hint of judgement and authority, not “love.” Right?

Leeman unpacks those assumptions, pointing out how the conclusions to lower the bar on membership and discipline are founded upon philosophical, cultural definitions. If we begin with the Bible’s definition of love, authority, etc., we arrive at a much different conviction. Membership and Discipline actually portray true love, God’s love, to the world. They are key aspects of a healthy church.

Along the way, Leeman addresses some questions that are sure to arise. For example, he illustrates how membership was indeed practiced in the NT even though it was not named “membership,” and he explains how tools like covenants are helpful in carrying out in our day what we find occurring in the NT church.

Strength: If I had to choose one part of Leeman’s book that is most helpful in building biblical case for membership, it would be his explanation and application of Matthew 16,18, and 28 (pp.178-195). Leeman shows how these passages are thematically connected (authority and presence) and then explains how the local church carries out this authority through the practice of membership and discipline. He writes, “Jesus is building not a group of unassociated individuals but a church, a gathering” (p.189). 

Weakness: Way too much material is the book’s most notable weakness, in my opinion of course! I believe Leeman could have made his case and his points with far less, in depth analysis and illustration, maybe even as much as 30% reduction. I don’t consider myself an avid reader, although I am a daily reader. I usually have at least 5 books going at the same time, and I enjoy it. However, I found myself trudging through the material and only because I wanted to have a better grasp on membership. I fear the massive amount of information is going to either dishearten readers into quitting before they finish or dissuade them from starting it at all. That’s a shame because the church in our day really needs to give attention to this issue. If a couple of opening chapters were dedicated to brief cultural and church observations followed by chapters devoted to engaging biblical texts and concluding with a few chapters of application, in about 1/2 or 2/3 the size of its present form, accessibility would increase enormously. As it stands now though, I only know of a very few people I could recommend this book to as their next read. Don’t get me wrong. I wholeheartedly commend it, as far as Leeman’s conclusions. However, I can’t recommend it to a wide-scale audience; it’s just too difficult to complete.

For me, though, I am glad I did force myself to finish it. As a teaching pastor of a local church, membership and discipline are issues that I strongly desire to ground in Scripture. I want to know how best to put into practice what we find in the NT church and why because I want our church to be healthy, to be biblical and sound.

So if you are looking for a challenging study on membership, dig in and enjoy. If not, better keep searching for another source.

Love for Christ Runs Deeper Still

I wrote this poem for my family while away on a mission trip last week. Enjoy!

Love For Christ Runs Deeper Still

Dear Little ONe, so precious and tiny in the womb.

We saw your heart beat today, and joy filled the room.

Even though I’ve yet to know who you are and what you’ll be,

I love you with a father’s love. You are a gift from God to me.

As years go by and you grow up, you’ll find my love to be so real.

For my love for you runs Oh so deep,

But love for Christ runs deeper still.

Dear Haddon, Daddy’s Little Buddy, so glad you are my son.

It is my earnest desire for you, the Christian race to run.

No matter what we do together, for me it’s always sheer delight.

The time we share in play or prayer, I cherish with all my might.

Through talks and hugs, through tears and joy, you’ll see my love is real.

My love for you, little buddy, runs Oh so deep,

But love for Christ runs deeper still.

Dear Talitha, Daddy’s Little Girl, my joy from the very start.

If I could have my greatest wish for you, love God with all your heart.

Playing Princess, Barbie, and dress-up became part of my day

Because that’s what you loved to do, that’s how you loved to play.

As you grow, you’ll always know, my love is sure and real.

For my love for you, princess, runs Oh so deep,

But love for Christ runs deeper still.

Dear Summer, my Bride, companion for life,

I bless the Lord in heaven above that you are my covenant wife.

Although we’ve known our struggles where one has come from two,

The joy and fullness of life spent together has been so rich with you.

Till death do us part is just one way I’ll prove my love is strong as steel.

For my love for you, dear wife, runs Oh so deep,

But love for Christ runs deeper still.

I hope you know, dear family, my heart is fuller than my pen.

It is beyond my mind and strength to convey the feelings within.

With great plea and sincere prayer, I trust that you will see,

Loving you in this way is as close and dear as ever could be.

Resist the thought that loving Christ more means loving you less.

To love christ above all else is to love you in the way that is best.

If God is true love, has raised us with Christ, and in Christ set us apart,

Then the beginning of true love toward one another is loving Him with all our hearts.

Holding Christ closer means holding you firm with bonds eternally real.

My love for you runs Oh so deep,

Because my love for Christ runs deeper still.

Matthew 10:37

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Matthew 22:37-39

You shall love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

© Wil Owens

2011

To the Ends of the Earth - Myanmar!

It sure felt that way in terms of travel! Reaching our final destination in Kalaymyo, Myanmar required 5 plane rides (1 of which was 16 hours) complete with layovers and 2 nights at a hotel in Yangon. Including losing an entire day flying over time zones, we spent 5 days in route to Kalaymyo! Please don’t mistake these facts as complaints though. The journey there was part of the adventure, and what we found upon arrival was well worth it.

Pastor Joseph met us at the airport in Kalaymyo and escorted us to our hotel. Later that day (Wed.), we went to his ministry site to visit the students and orphans. The reception was truly a humble moment. We were welcomed with smiles, songs, and introductions. In the evening, we held the first of four evening worship services. The students and orphans sang with loud joy. Lyrics to one of their songs became a favorite instantly, not only for the words but for the passion with which they sang them. “Give me no name, O Lord. Give me no fame, O Lord. Give me souls for Myanmar to be saved.” Very touching. Very moving.

Thursday and Friday, each member of our team taught the students. On Saturday, we visited two villages and taught there as well. One of the biggest highlights of these days for me was distributing the clothes to the students and orphans. For most of them, they had never owned a new outfit. For the first time in their lives, they unpacked new shirts, new pants, and new shoes. Once again I was reminded in a very profound manner that it is truly better to give than to receive.

Sunday was a full day of exciting ministry. We worshipped with the saints, participated in the baptism of 9 students, and each had a part in the student graduation. To our amazement, over 600 people (at least) from the community attended the graduation. You may wonder why this number is amazing. First, the graduation was held outside and the heat was almost overbearing. In fact, two of us suffered heat exhaustion during this trip. However, 600+ maintained their seats and their attention for a service that lasted almost 3 hours. Second, the seminary is not located in an area of visibility (that’s an understatement), does not boast of grand facilities (that’s an understatement), and does not offer its graduates premier placement in the job market but rather a call to go and make disciples. 21 students answered that call, and this was the second graduation of Emmanuel Theological Seminary. Simply amazing!

On Monday, we began the long journey home and by Wed evening, we had all reached our separate homes.

This is just our itinerary though. The real story is in the ministry of Emmanuel, Kalaymyo. That is where the grace and power of God are truly evident.

In 2006, Joseph Bawi Ceu arrived in Kalaymyo to begin ministry. In 2011, he held the second graduation of seminary students. His ministry includes 44 students, 21 orphans, 7 professors, and helpers. The degrees include Certificates of Theology and Bachelor of Theology. Students arrive with their belongings in a travel box. The boys and girls have separate facilities, each on the top level with classroom space underneath. When they are not studying, they are engaged in worship, fasting and prayers, or manual work. The orphans are raised in anticipation of joining the seminary. The goal is that through this ministry, the gospel will be sent to every corner of Myanmar, and it has begun to reach fulfillment. While we were there, we met Josiah, a former student. As a missionary, he has led over 30 Buddhists to the Lord!

It really is a miracle story to stop and think this began in 2006 from nothing! Only God could bring about such lasting fruit.

It has not been without great difficulty. From what I could ascertain, their greatest struggle, among others, is hunger, and they face it often. When there is no rice, they spend the day in fasting and prayer. Maybe twice a week. Maybe twice a month. At times there simply is no food. They don’t quit. They don’t question God. They fast and pray. The result of their joyful, patient, suffering perseverance is a graduating class of 21 students, discipled, made strong through suffering, and ready to go into the fields of harvest.

Indeed, the story of grace is not that four Americans traveled to Myanmar but what those four Americans found when they reached their destination. The Gospel is alive and well and growing, without our Western necessities, or “niceties.” The Gospel is going forth from the pure grace and power of God. It was, from every angle and perspective, a marvel to behold.

Pray for Pastor Joseph and all the ministries of Emmanuel, Kalaymyo. And pray for Myanmar. 

To God be the Glory - Great Things He Has Done!