Parenting Between the Pitfalls of Legalism and Abandonment

The last thing Christian parents want is to see their children become little legalists or resistant to the Gospel. How we parent, how we raise, train, and discipline our children may be pointing them in one of those two dreadful destinations.

First, the Christian parent has to become aware that discipline is not an option. Our culture decries punitive discipline as abuse and out-dated. No doubt, there are plenty of examples of how not to discipline, but poor parenting is not a reason to not discipline at all. Society may call discipline unloving, but the Bible teaches that to not discipline is in fact unloving (Prov 13:24). Not every act of rebellion or disobedience should be met with corporal punishment, but neither should the home be void of loving, corrective corporal punishment.

That being said, most Christian parents are familiar with how to mete out discipline in a loving manner. Whether spanking, a firm talk, or time-out, discipline should not be done out of anger. Parents need to take the time to explain to the child why he is being punished. That’s great advice that should be followed, but we can’t stop our corrective parenting there.

If all we do is communicate the wrong done that justifies the punishment, we are only drawing moral lines, lines of sin and consequence. That’s a good thing, but not if that’s as far as we go. If the child only learns that a set of rules exists in the Bible and if you cross them, you get punished, he won’t likely embrace the Author! More than likely, if all he knows is that if I get caught, I get in trouble, he will either grow up a legalist or abandon the faith altogether as soon as he gets out of the home.

As Christian parents, we must practice redemptive discipline, Gospel-centered discipline. In other words, you not only explain to a child they are receiving punishment because he has done wrong, you explain to your child why he has done wrong. Explain sin. Explain that sin carries consequences. Explain that you, the parent, are a sinner too. Explain that God loves them and they need salvation. Explain that God has sent us a Savior to die for our sin, and if we trust in Christ, we can be forgiven. Explain that you love them and are helping them learn about sin, consequences, forgiveness, and salvation.

Redemptive discipline seeks to get behind the wrong done to the reason the wrong was done and the only hope we have to save us from our deepest problem, sin.

Parents, if we love our children, we will discipline them. If we desire to see them embrace Christ, we will strive to discipline in a redemptive, Gospel-centered manner. May we point our children to Christ and their need of Him!

Book Review: The Hope of Glory

The Hope of Glory: 100 Meditations on Colossians. By Sam Storms. Wheaton: Crossway, 2007.

When I began preaching through the book of Colossians at our church, one of elders suggested that I may want to read Hope of Glory as I prepare my sermons. I am so thankful that he did and that I took his advice!

Hope of Glory is different from any other devotional type book that I have read. First, it is thoroughly exegetical. Storms walks through Colossians verse-by-verse, explaining and applying the truths contained in this great epistle. Second, it is doctrinal. Storms does not shy away from topics or passages which may be difficult, but rather he points out relevant information from language or other sources. He also states his reasons for why he prefers one interpretation over another. Third, it is practical. Storms moves beyond observation of the text to application. Fourth, it is enjoyable! I learned more about Paul and about this letter by reading Storms’ meditations, but it was not just an intellectual exercise. It was a joy to read. I found myself meditating on Storms’ meditations!

If you are interested in studying Colossians or are looking for Bible study helps, I would highly recommend Hope of Glory. 

Giving Thanks after Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day has come and gone again but our giving of thanks should never be absent from our hearts, prayers, and lips. In Colossians 3:15-17, Paul calls on believers to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts, to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly, and to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. What is interesting to note is how Paul ties these commands together. They are not isolated, unrelated Christian duties. They have a common root, a common source: thanksgiving. Paul concludes the three commands of vv15-17 by calling us to thanksgiving. In v15 he writes, “be thankful.” In v16 he writes, “with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” In v17 he writes, “giving thanks to God.” We can rightly deduce then that a spirit of thanksgiving stirs us toward letting the peace of Christ rule, letting the word of Christ dwell, and approaching life in the Lord’s name.

Thanksgiving then accomplishes more than we once thought. It accomplishes more than just “being thankful,” and that is very important. A constant spirit of gratitude to God enables us to live out our faith, to display the supremacy of Christ in all things. Practicing thanksgiving produces a humble, holy attitude within us, enabling us to then live thankfully. It’s not easy to let the peace of Christ rule in times of turmoil and tension. It is not second nature for the word of Christ to dwell in us richly. It is certainly not natural for us to pursue life by taking care that every action and every word bring glory to Christ. Thanksgiving brings those Christian virtues to our attention and to our hearts.

Being thankful, for everything, all the time is one way that we grow in the joy of our salvation. So let’s get busy giving thanks! Here are a few ways I have tried to implement consistent thanksgiving into my life.

(1) I write down praises and thanksgiving in my prayer and life journal each day. Each day, I list at least one answer to prayer or praise report or thanksgiving. The greatest benefits I have discovered so far are that this helps me not forget to praise God for the things I’ve asked God for and it helps me not forget to thank God for the things I usually take for granted! (2) When I pray, I make sure I have a time of thanksgiving in my personal prayer time. (3) Thanksgiving Day - I’ve made it a practice to sit down with a sheet of paper and list, one by one, the things that I should be thankful for, whether material, physical, spiritual, or personal; whether good or bad, I practice being thankful for everything I can remember over the previous year because it has all come to me through the hand of my Father in heaven, and I want to give Him thanks.

If we desire to show that Christ is far supreme, 

it first begins with a holy attitude. 

To display His worth above all things, 

has its impetus in humble gratitude.

A Lesson on Thanksgiving

I’d like to share with you how God taught me a fresh lesson on thanksgiving in recent days.

My day usually begins about 5am with me sitting in my recliner spending time with the Lord. Some time around 7am one of my children, usually Haddon, comes into the room. It’s not long until he will say, “Daddy, I’m hungry. Can you fix me breakfast?” I always reply, “Sure. Wait just a minute.” Then when I reach a stopping point, I’ll go prepare breakfast for both of them. It’s always a joy to do so.

Not long ago, Haddon and I started going through this same routine. However, this time would be much different. Haddon asked for breakfast, and I was up headed to the pantry to grab a box of cereal. Somewhere between my hand being on the doorknob of the pantry and on the box of Fruit Loops, the Lord struck me. It was a crushing blow that was good for me!

The Lord reminded me that I had returned from Myanmar recently. While there I learned that at least once every week, sometimes twice a week, Pastor Joseph has no food for his family, staff, students, and orphans. He has a little son too, whose name is Jedidiah. I imagined that in the mornings, Jedidiah comes to his father and says, “Daddy, I’m hungry. Can you fix me breakfast?” At least once or twice a week Pastor Joseph knows there is nothing “in the pantry” to reach for. I can see him taking little Jedidian into his arms, maybe rubbing his growling stomach, and saying, “Son, we’re not going to eat today. We’re going to pray and worship the Lord. Should the Lord see fit, we will eat tomorrow.”

I was hit with blunt force as I pulled the cereal box off the shelf. I have never had to tell my children that we were not going to eat that day. That’s not to say we haven’t seen some hard times. I’ve been known to stretch a gallon of milk way past the expiration date! I know what it is to wonder if I could buy groceries next week. However, there has never been a day that we didn’t have anything to eat at all.

I made sure that day to sit and talk with my children before they prayed their blessing. We talked about God granting us food, and that sometimes God may withhold such blessings. Some, like little Jedidiah, may not have breakfast today. I was able to share with them that we are going to be thankful for our bowl of cereal today, and should there come a day when we don’t have a bowl of cereal, we’re going to be thankful then too!

I poured those bowls of cereal in a different way that morning. I pray I never pour a bowl of cereal again without that same grateful attitude.

Be thankful today!

Local Church Membership in the NT: Practice and Process

Have you ever heard someone reason, “I am part of Christ’s church. I don’t have to be a member of a local church” or “I don’t see membership classes or covenants in the Bible. I don’t have to do those things”?

The distinction between practice of membership and the process of practicing membership is where some people struggle with local church membership. If people can’t really see how the process of membership fits with the NT, then they’re not fully persuaded they should “join” a church or are even convinced that joining is unnecessary. The NT practice of membership that we clearly see makes the process of membership necessary.

The NT church clearly practiced local church membership because individuals believers were recognized as part of the church, and those same individuals could be removed from the church. In addition, we know the NT church had a process of receiving members and removing members because they had the practice of receiving and removing members. By process I mean this: somehow a new believer in Ephesus, who professed and evidenced faith, would know that he was officially recognized and received by his neighborhood church. He would go through some type of “process” whereby the church at Ephesus “received” him. He would then be completely aware of his standing with the church as would the church be aware of his standing with the body. The practice is described and prescribed in the NT, but the process is not. We don’t know “how” the churches officially received and officially removed members, we only know that they did.

Why is that? Why is the process not described or prescribed in the NT? I believe the answer to that question is that each church has the liberty to practice membership according to its own context and situation. In other words, an underground church in China may practice membership in a different way than our local church practices membership. So we have a different “process” but we both “practice” local church membership. Each church is called to practice membership, but the way they practice membership, that is, the process, may be different. The Bible teaches us to practice membership, the process of how we go about doing that is left to each local church.

At CEFC, we have a 7 step process of becoming a member. (1) A Membership Class (2) A Membership Application (3) Review of applications by the elders (4) A follow-up contact with the prospect by an elder (5) Approval of prospects by the elders and submission of names to the congregation (6) Time for congregants to know future members (7) Receiving new members into the faith family by affirming their profession of faith via church-wide vote.

(Why do we have such an extensive process? Mainly because we are serious about watching over the souls of others. Heb 13:17)

I know of some churches that have a very different process of receiving members. An individual simply informs the pastor at the conclusion of a service that he is a believer and desires to join the church. After brief conversation, the pastor then asks the church to welcome this brother by way of vote. That’s it. Very simple.

The point is that both churches practice membership because the practice of membership is clearly in the NT. You may question whether our process is too long or whether the latter example is too short. The point is we both practice membership even though we have a very different process of doing so. Again, the NT practice of membership makes the process of membership necessary.

If you have questioned whether or not you should join a local church, I would encourage you to do so. By having a “process” of membership in place, your local congregation is simply trying to implement what it sees as a clear NT practice. 

If you are a pastor who does not emphasize membership to any significant degree, I would encourage you to take a fresh look at how the NT describes local church life. Some form of official membership is evident when one examines the relation between leaders and members, the clear line of distinction between those within the fellowship and those without, and the accountability exhibited within the church body.

The practice is clearly there. Let’s embrace a healthy “process” to put the practice in place!

Book Review: What is a Healthy Church Member?

Recently our church set aside one Sunday as a “Membership Celebration Day.” This was not a last minute idea but rather the culmination of several major moves that God has used to direct us. First, before I came to serve CEFC as Teaching Pastor, the church adopted a Philosophy of Ministry. This foundational document contains 13 principles upon which the church will be directed. “A Biblical Understanding of Membership” is point number 7. Second, shortly after I arrived, I asked our elders to join me in a study of church membership, and so we read Leeman’s “Surprising Offence of God’s Love.” Third, as part of our study, we discussed ways to foster understanding, appreciation, and commitment to the local body. Fourth, during this time, we promoted and offered a new membership class for any visitors interested in membership, any long-time attenders who had never formally joined, and we included all of our high school students.

God used all of these components to build an excitement and value for local church membership within our fellowship. As a result, we planned a “Membership Celebration.” It was a real marker in the life and direction of our church. I preached a message on membership from Hebrews 13:17. We introduced 23 new members to our congregation. All of them were introduced by their shepherd, and in turn, each prospective member shared with the congregation why the Lord had brought them to our faith family. All of our members, existing and prospective, read our “Membership Covenant” together. Then, our church body voted to receive the candidates as our brothers and sisters in Christ. To conclude the morning service, we sang “The Church’s One Foundation” together. I was absolutely elated to partake in such a ceremony of community with my local church family. However, the day of “membership” was not over. We returned that evening for a matter of business and for each shepherd group to gather for fellowship and prayer. A full, complete day of recognizing membership, appreciating membership, and practicing membership.

Now here is where the book review begins:

As people exited our worship facility after the morning celebration, each family unit was given a copy of What is a Healthy Church Member? by Thabiti M. Anyabwile. I cannot imagine a better resource to help nurture an environment of healthy membership than this book. I look forward to hearing and seeing the many positive results as our church family begins to read and apply the lessons Thabiti shares in this little, practical, profitable work.

Healthy Church Member is essentially applying Dever’s 9 Marks of a Healthy Church to each individual believer within the local church. After discussing how we as members can implement the 9 Marks in our lives, Thabiti adds the mark of prayer. It is a fitting and wise addition.

As I announced to our church body that we would be giving copies of this book to them, I exhorted them by saying, “Healthy churches are composed of healthy church members.” It’s true. We can pursue a healthy church to no success if we are not a people who are also pursuing biblical health in our own personal lives.

I highly recommend this book to every believer. It’s an easy read in terms of readability. It’s a lifelong read in terms of application to life and benefit to the church.

Pastors, get this one, read it, and pass out as many copies as you can to your flock!

Why I Believe and Embrace the Doctrine of Election

This past Sunday our church studied Col 3:12-17 together. It gave me the opportunity to share with our fellowship why I believe and embrace the doctrine of election. The following are some of the thoughts I shared on Paul’s opening words in v12 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.” 

Paul slightly mentions the massive reason we are making such a drastic change of spiritual clothes, which is also our motivation for doing so. Why are we forsaking and fighting the sinful pleasures and selfish attitudes of this world (vv5-11) while pursuing and desiring God-centered, self-denying virtues that extol Christ (vv12-14)? The answer for why we are bagging up our old clothes and getting fitted for our new ones and for why we delight to do so is contained in the two phrases: “as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved” Election and what it means explains why we love our new outfits!

The word “chosen” is the same word that is sometimes translated “elect.” This text is not an explanation of election but rather a description of some of the glorious implications of election. I believe in election because you find it throughout the whole Bible. Therefore I believe it and I seek to understand it as best I can. As I gain understanding of it, I pray to embrace it, no matter what difficulties I encounter emotionally or logically as I work through connecting this doctrine with all of God’s revelation. I delight to embrace the doctrine of election because God, in His wisdom, grace, and goodness, chose for His salvation of sinners to include His divine, free, sovereign election of sinners to salvation in His Son. It must therefore be for His glory and for the good of His people because that’s the ultimate purposes for everything He does.

In Col 3:12, Paul’s purpose is not to teach on election but to point out how it serves to motivate us. Election enables us to love our new clothes. Motivation for our new outfits comes in part by seeing what election means for the individual believer. What does election imply? Paul answers in the following phrase, “holy and beloved.” Election means that God has made you “holy.” God has set you apart for Himself, to enjoy Him, to glorify Him, to serve Him, to know Him. It also means that you are “beloved” by God. God has poured out His unending love upon you, by His own initiative not based upon anything good about you. He did this knowing you would be a sinner. He did this while you were still a sinner. If you will just think for a moment on election, not trying to figure it out, to defend it, or to deny it, but just to reflect on what it means. Oh how we would want to wear our new clothes if we knew what election means for us who are in Christ! This new wardrobe means I belong to Him! I have been changed by Him! I am loved by Him! He chose me.

Have you examined this new wardrobe carefully? Compassion is not easy to put on. Kindness, humility, meekness, and patience - none of those are easy to put on. We spend so much of our Christian lives staring at our new wardrobe, finding it too difficult to try on or not really wanting to try it on. Paul says, “Just think dear Christian, you have been chosen by God!” As undeserving and sinful and wayward and stubborn and ungodly as we are, God has chosen to save us and grant us eternal life in His glorious presence. Meditation on your personal election by God only fosters tremendous humility and thankfulness. As a result, you find yourself reaching out, grasping that cloak of compassion, and trying it on for size.

Are You Interested in Missions?

1. Are you passionate about missions but do not feel led to serve the Lord as a full-time missionary, rather view your calling as one of supporting the Gospel around the world?
2. Would you be interested in serving a missions organization that equips believers in Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist countries?
3. Are you gifted in administration, organization, dealing with numbers, internet, and technologies?
4. Could you envision yourself not only taking care of routine tasks but also taking leadership in developing and enhancing current ministries?
5. Do you live or would you be willing to live in the Fresno/Clovis CA area?
6. Can you donate your time to this kind of ministry OR would you be willing to raise support in order to serve full-time?
7. Would you enjoy preparing teams and leading teams overseas for mission endeavors?
8. Would it excite you to witness firsthand how God supplies for orphans, students, and pastors around the world on a daily basis?
9. Are you willing to commit to a local body of believers in conjunction with this ministry opportunity?
10. Does working for a non-profit ministry that focuses on missions, discipleship, and resources interest you?

If you can answer “YES” to most or all of the above questions, then God may be calling you to serve as Executive Director of Ministries at Search And See Ministries!

We are currently seeking God’s will and direction for this position. If you have any questions or interest, please contact us through email: searchandsee@att.net.

Book Review: Apparent Privilege

Apparent Privilege. By Steve Wright with Chris Graves. Wake Forest: Inquest, 2008.

Apparent Privilege is Wright’s follow-up work to ReThink. In ReThink Wright lays a biblical foundation for a partnership between families and the church in student ministry. Parents are to be the primary disciple-makers of their children. The church’s role is first to equip and train parents and then to reinforce parental involvement and instruction throughout the student ministry. Wright calls upon student leaders to ReThink student ministry and adopt a more biblical methodology, that is, one that elevates parents instead of dismissing them or taking discipleship of their children from them.

Apparent Privilege is Wright’s call to parents. Much of the material is the same because he is essentially sharing with parents what he has shared with leaders in ReThink. However, AP goes further. Wright outlines specific examples of how his church encourages and equips parents to fulfill their role. Wright focuses on the tools and importance of things like family worship, praying as a family, serving as a family, passage trips, journaling, journey days, and family dinnertime. Imagine what a visible difference would be made if parents and student leaders adopted just some of these Gospel-driven opportunities!

Every parent should read this book NOW! Every student leader should read both ReThink and Apparent Privilege.

Families should not replace the church, but they should not be neglected, overlooked, and segregated by the church either. Let us join together, families and the church, to see our children embrace the glorious Gospel of Christ and live it out with joy throughout life. Let’s close the gap on watching our students graduate from God when they graduate high-school. The biblical way is for parents to pass down the faith, the church to lift up parents by helping them fulfill their role, and both presenting and living the Gospel before our students.

The Sanctifying Effect of Foreign Missions

I have just recently returned home from a short-term foreign mission trip. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I love going on these trips. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve traveled to foreign soil for the purpose of missions, probably somewhere between 12 and 15. I’ve never been on one of these trips without coming away from it having been greatly impacted in some way. However, this past trip was a little different. I couldn’t help but notice a clear absence of culture shock. When our plane landed at our final destination and we met up with our hosts, it all seemed so normal. Even though I had never been to this particular country, the scenery, the accommodations, the context, it was all so familiar. That can be good. Being on foreign soil and having a sense of being “at home” is a good thing. However, it can be “not so good” if engaging in missions becomes so familiar that it loses its force and impact. It is for this reason I am thankful for a few things connected with foreign missions that always have a sanctifying effect upon me.

First, I am reminded of the brevity of my own life while preparing for and taking a missions trip in a striking way that surfaces sharper than with any other activity in my life. I have my own little anxieties and “phobias” that I deal with and pray through each and every time, particularly flying, a foreign mission trip itself, and acts of terror. I know it’s ridiculous. I know statistics are more likely that I won’t make it home from work than that I won’t make it home from a missions trip. (In making that statement, I don’t want to be misleading. There are plenty of missionaries around the world who are putting their lives on the line for the Gospel every day) But for some reason, leaving for a missions trip always makes me ask, “What if I don’t come back?” I refuse to let these anxieties paralyze me. By the grace and strength of the Lord, I will not quit going on mission trips because of flying, dangers, or terror. I pray through those things, I give them to God, and I go. However, going through those fears forces me to stop my busy life and take note of my soul before God! It is always a refreshing time of bearing my soul, my sins, and my life before my Creator and Savior. I’m thankful for those little “phobias.” They keep me coming back to God in total surrender, trust, and faith.

Second, foreign missions places the sovereignty of God before me like no other activity in my life. My issue with flying may be a control deal. I don’t know. I do know this—when I sit down in my seat and the plane begins to taxi down the runway, I am forced to admit my life is totally, completely in the hands of my Father. Yes, it’s true, my life is always in the hands of God, but it’s never more clear to me than when on mission (or flying). Will I make it home? I must trust God. How about my wife and kids back home? Who will watch over them while I’m gone? Who will take care of them if I don’t return? The answer comes down to my loving, faithful, wise, sovereign Father! What will happen when we reach the field? What will be our assignments and opportunities? Only God knows! If you doubt the sovereignty of God, just go on a mission trip! The sanctifying effect comes when I am able to rest from all of my little fears because I can leave them with my sovereign Savior. He always knows best and always acts for His glory and my good. When I reach that point somewhere on my trip, I rest in Him, and it is good.

Third, the vast and various reach of the Gospel becomes ever so clear to me when I am on foreign soil. I read about missions, practically daily through Operation World, the Joshua Project, VOM, NTM, and other internet sources. I know some of what God is doing around the world. However, nothing replaces seeing it unfold firsthand. Last month I found myself standing in a rice field, located far off the main road where it was hidden, down a washed-out path, right in the middle of a remarkable ministry that began just 6 years ago. A church, an orphanage, and a seminary all tucked away in this little, unknown, green corner of God’s world. And unknown to most of the world, this little ministry is making a significant impact for the Gospel. That is just one example of how God is doing billions of works, in all kinds of places, in all kinds of ways, to move His Gospel to the ends of the earth. It is a glorious, sanctifying experience to stand in the middle of such a Gospel-soaked, God-honoring ministry and see the hand of God.

I’m thankful for the work God accomplishes in me when I “go” for Him!

Take a short-term mission trip this year. Even better, commit your life to missions full time. Missions tends to have a tremendous sanctifying effect!

Search and See Ministries - November 2011 Update

Dear Friends:

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ! I pray this update finds you well and growing in the knowledge and grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

November is the month we celebrate Thanksgiving, and we have so much to be thankful for at Search and See Ministries! We are thankful for a successful, blessed mission trip last month. We are thankful for each opportunity the Lord opens for us through our mission partnerships, internet ministry, resources, etc. We are so thankful for every one of our prayer and financial supporters. How blessed we are to have such faithful friends. 

Please take note of the following updates and an urgent prayer request.

• Sermon Ministry - 280 downloads in 20 States and 11 Nations. Continue to broadcast in Liberia twice each week as well.
• If you support a pastor in Kenya, it is time to renew your support, if you do so on an annual basis. 
• We will be shipping the ESV Study Bibles to the graduates in Myanmar this week, 11/6! 

Urgent Prayer Request: Please join us in prayer for a very crucial matter. As we transition to CA, we need someone to volunteer or raise their support to be our Executive Director. This individual would be responsible for all of our bookkeeping and can also help improve all of our existing ministries. Without such an assistant, we will not be able to continue this ministry. If it is God's will for us to continue, He will provide. Please pray with us. If you feel led to inquire about this position, please feel free to contact us at searchandsee@att.net.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wil Owens

Gal 2.20